Guys: I know we like to kiss girls, it's our nature. But think of it this way, would you appreciate it if your future wife was out kissing a bunch of other guys right now. No way! Those lips are supposed to be mine right?! Well that's exactly the attitude you should take before considering kissing what could potentially be another mans wife. We don't consider it adultery since we're in a relationship with the girl, it must be ok right? Wrong! I mean if getting caught looking lustfully at another woman before your married is a sin, then surely wouldn't kissing a girl you don't know to be your wife one? I don't know for sure, but I would think so. Christ wouldn't want His bride stained by some guy making out with her before He was allowed to take her right? In this way, we should also treat our sisters in Christ as magnificently pure women that we should be obligated to protect until God comes and blesses us with a wife that was also protected for our sake. Don't ruin it for their husbands by staining them!
Girls: I know most guys want to kiss you, because you're attractive. However, your lips are more precious than you could ever know and your purity is of the utmost importance. I liken it to this, imagine yourself in a beautiful white dress, looking heavenly and beautiful and standing under a bath tub faucet, every time you give a little piece of yourself sexually, through a kiss or whatever, you twist that faucet on and out comes mud in essence making you dirty, it's similarly applicable to guys, but we don't look nice in dresses so it doesn't work as well. Well imagine that dress as being your wedding dress and that when you present yourself to your husband what do you want to present to him? A beautiful woman in a marvelous white dress, or in a dress that's been tarnished or dirty. Daughters of God, grace be upon you because I know many of you have stumbled and God's grace will rain upon you, no doubt, and you will be beautiful and cherished by your husbands, but consider yourself as the most precious gift you can ever give to him because you are and as that gift that we are to each other, we should desire to keep ourselves pure for each other.
I don't want anyone to feel condemned or bad because of anything I said, I'm hoping you all know that I say this with love. Guys and girls it's time to take God out of His box and start trusting Him with every aspect of our life, including our romantic life, and trust that He is big to bring us someone so amazingly perfect it will blow your mind. Have faith in Him! When has God EVER let you down?
Grace To You
Verse: Ephesians 5:3 "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people
Hebrews 13:4 "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and sexually immoral"
And I welcome all disagreements and questions :-)
Wow. I have to say I strongly disagree with almost everything you said in there. You spoke God's word like a Pharisee... quoting with what appears in your words as a very narrow mind. Here are my problems with this:
ReplyDeleteFirst, it seems here that you feel God has called the American's to his kingdom when he's actually called the entire human race. That involves a ton of cultures. Being half Hispanic, I find it offensive that you'd condemn kissing when it's part of my family's culture to kiss our relatives and close friends. Kissing is only a sin if one wishes it to be in their heart.
Secondly, marriage isn't going to seal your faucet. Actually under these circumstances, you'd have both hot and cold mud drowning your dream girl. Christians these days think getting married makes it okay to kiss... and that is the biggest misconception ever. Marriage isn't a signed documentation or a ring on a finger... It is faith, hope and love. Jesus didn't come and say "Alright everyone, I need all of your signatures right here before I do this whole death on the cross thing for you. It's going to be kinda scary and I don't want to take a chance on you if you're not in this with me." He came and died without needing anything from us. He put out and gave up all the love He could. Then he let the world decided knowing exactly everything He put on the table. We should be the same in our relationships and romances. It's easy to signed a piece of paper and it's easy to give a ring because that's all man made. That's what we can make, but when we give faith, hope and love, we give a gift that was given to us by God... and that is hard... and that is marriage.
There is no perfect girl in a white dress waiting for you. When we put people up on a pedestal like that we worship them. That's wrong. God is the only one worth our worship. Paul wrote in his first letter to the Corinthians that not everyone is going to get married and not everyone is going to find joy from being with someone. Ask God for his plan and live like his son. Don't think you can put stock in YOUR plan thinking later I will have this. God doesn't have a stock market system. Well he might but you can be thankful he doesn't use it on us.
From what life God has given me, I'd say kiss a girl (and like it, but not just to try it... thank you Katey Perry). Seriously though, Love is passion with compassion. Our love should be emotional and physical, it should be fiery and intense; with respect and understanding of our partners as well as ourselves.
My last thing is this. Are you going to define marriage by man or God? Because when you define by man in this case, NONE of us have a chance...
I'm really glad you're doing this blog Seth. I enjoyed reading your thoughts even if I completely disagreed with them. I hope everything is going well with you man.
-Crivor.
I'd like to say that I really appreciate your thoughts and comments. Ok I'll try to do my best to defend my point of view, trying to answer to all of your points and if we agree to disagree that's ok, I don't think kissing between family and close friends is wrong because it's the intent of the heart that matters not the physical action itself in that case, almost like kissing a mother or a sister. It's a loving action, no one would ever be offended by that and that different cultures do different things, I'm not attempting to be completely legalistic in my view and be narrow minded, i meant more in terms of dating relationships.
ReplyDeleteAnd marriage you are absolutely right is about love! I don't want legalism, marriage isn't a contract that makes it ok to kiss, it's about loving the individual God has blessed you with. And this is going to sound stupid but it's the truth, it's because I love that I want to stay pure and not kiss other women(in a dating relationship is what I'm going to be referring to the rest of this). I mean if your wife caught you kissing another woman that you weren't close friends with and who wasn't family what would we call that? We would call that adultery right? I don't see why the definition changes in light of the circumstance, in my opinion, just because I don't know my future wife(if she's out there) doesn't mean that I should kiss other girls because she's not around to stop it. Isn't that what faith is?! I believe that God is going to lead me to the right girl and therefore I'm not going to kiss others until I marry her and if I'm not meant to get married, I'm not going to kiss other random girls anyways because that's definitely not kosher.
Contrary to what this blog indicates to people I do live in the real world haha, I understand that my future wife(if she exists), may not come in "pristine condition", that's ok. Should I get back at her because she did stuff I had no control of? No way, I'm going to seek Jesus Christ and stay as pure as possible, regardless of what she did. I'm the best gift I can ever give to her(I don't say that meaning I'm so great, far from it), just because you've kissed before doesn't mean you have to exacerbate the problem and run the numbers up. I don't feel that I live in this dream world, I feel that I worship the God of the whole Universe! A God big enough to lead me to the right person if I seek Him diligently, you definitely shouldn't put a woman above God b/c then you just become a negative nancy wondering when she's going to come. Follow diligently after the King, and trust that if it's His will He'll give you your queen.
A few words from a girls perspective:
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, Go Seth! haha :)
I totally agree with you on this. Save yourself for the one God has chosen for you. :)
In my opinion, the most precious gift i could ever give my husband is myself, or to be more specific, my virginity. What an amazing gift, no? Only one person can take your virginity, once you lose it, you can never get it back and your first time is a huge deal. It’s an amazing experience, and how special would it be to share that experience with the man you are going to spend the rest of your life with. Now, I realize that’s a lot different than kissing, but it goes along the same lines of saving yourself for the one you’re going to marry. A lot of times people think kissing is no big deal or what not, but i think it is, especially your first kiss. It’s a pretty big thing, and once you do it, you can never get that one moment of what it feels like to have your first kiss back.
Well before I ramble on too much I’ll get to my point, which is when you enter in a relationship with someone, whether it be you guys just kiss or more, you still are giving that other person a piece of you, and you can never get it back. For me, when i stand at the altar, facing the man im madly in love and going to spend the rest of my life with, i don’t want to look into his eyes, about to say "i do", having pieces of me missing that i have give to other men that I’ve been with before him. I want him to have all of me. I don’t want him to have just a portion of me, because the other portions i've already given to other guys, no i want to save all of myself for him.
Now I realize people may disagree with me, but that’s my opinion. I agree with Seth and think that people should wait and save themselves for the person they are going to marry. Now I realize that most people probably have already had their first kiss and maybe already lost their virginity, and I fully believe God is a restorer and can restore those things back to you. For instance, I have kissed a few boys before, but I haven’t kissed a boy in over four years and I believe God has fully restore my first kiss back to me, to the point where its like I don’t even remember what its like. And that’s exciting to me, because I want the next boy I kiss be the person I’m going to marry. :)
So yeah, that’s my opinion. Good job Seth. I think you nailed it. Hope what I wrote makes sense. :) lol
I liken our hearts to a piece of tape, when we stick it to others in relationships we get less and less sticky and when we find the one that we were meant to "stick" to, how much of our hearts original stickiness is still there? how much is still left? we aren't conscious of what relationships have the potential to do to us and the potential hurt that they can cause if we aren't vigilant with our heart.
ReplyDeleteHahah thats soo funny cuz years back when i first started going to GC, P.Casey did a series on dating and relationships and one of his messages was "Sex is like ducktape." And he brought a roll of duck tape and tore a piece off and went around sticking to to things and by the end it barely stuck to anything. And he pretty much said the same as you just said, but more in depth obviously. haha just made me think of that. Anyways, i totally agree with you. :)
ReplyDelete